Any marriage can have problems that can lead to divorce if the spouses cannot fix them. Even being married for 30 years or longer does not guarantee you won’t end up getting divorced.
So-called “gray divorce” is becoming increasingly common in the U.S., and the St. Paul suburbs are no exception. The American Bar Association reports that around 25 percent of divorces now involve spouses aged 50 or older, and 10 percent are 65 or above. As Americans live longer, many people in dysfunctional marriages are deciding they want to change how they will spend their remaining years (or decades).
Here are five possible signs that an older couple is heading for divorce.
- You, your spouse, or both of you think of the future in terms of “I,” not “we.” Once a married person stops making plans that involve both themselves and their exes, the marriage could be in trouble.
- You spend more time apart than you used to.
- The last of the children has gone off to college or otherwise moved out of the house. Many unhappily married people choose to stay until the kids are grown.
- A lot of your (or your spouse’s) friends are divorced. The influence and experience of friends can convince a person in a bad marriage to file for divorce themselves.
- No disagreements. Ironically, the fact that a couple still has constructive fights from time to time is a good sign. It means that both spouses are still emotionally invested in the relationship. A total lack of conflict often means that one or both spouses have given up or are avoiding the issues causing the relationship to fail.
Your marriage could have all of these signs, some of them, or none at all. But you find yourself getting a divorce. If so, you will need experienced legal guidance to help you keep your fair share of the marital property.